Newcomers WelcomeFrequently Asked Questions
Al-Anon members share with you what it is like to come to a meeting for the first time. There may be a few things you are wondering about. We are often asked about the groups and what happens at meetings. If you have questions, feel free to ask a member when you come to a meeting.
Who are the members and why are they here?
Members of Al-Anon are all kinds of people from all walks of life: wives, husbands, lovers, sisters, brothers, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, parents, and coworkers of alcoholics. No matter what our relationship has been with a problem drinker, we share a common bond: we feel that our lives have been affected by another person's drinking. We meet together to share our experience, strength and hope.
How will it help me?
You will probably hear about a situation much like your own. If you don't find someone with the same set of circumstances, you may still be able to identify with the way many of us feel about the effects of alcoholism on our lives. We are all individuals striving to become the best people we can, each in our own way. That way may not be the same for each of us, but there is help for everyone who is bothered by someone else's drinking.
What do you talk about in Al-Anon/Alateen meetings?
There are countless topics for sharing and discussion in our meetings. The meeting chairperson chooses readings from our Conference Approved Literature on the Twelve Steps or Traditions, or on specific topics related to alcoholism such as anger, fear, conflict, relationships, people-pleasing, healing, control, happiness, or communication ... the list is endless.
Members share their experience, strength, and hope with respect to the meeting topic. Individual members may talk about their growth in a particular area or how they have applied the principles of our program to their own lives in helping to solve their common, everyday problems.
In Al-Anon, we keep the focus on ourselves. This means that we do not give one another advice nor do we spend our meeting time talking about the alcoholic. We focus on our own growth and well-being.
There are two general types of Al-Anon meetings: open and closed. Open meetings are open to anyone who is interested in learning about Al-Anon or the effects of one's alcoholism upon the people around them. Closed meetings are open to members and to anyone who feels that they may have been affected by another's alcoholism.
Do I have to say anything?
No. If you would rather sit and listen, you are free to do so. We try to listen with an open mind by practicing the slogan, Listen and Learn. We also say "Take what you like and leave the rest." The group chairperson will call on those who wish to share.
Will anyone say I've been here?
We are urged to respect each other's anonymity. We use first names only and do not talk about the people we see, or repeat what we hear at meetings. We guard the anonymity of all Al- Anon/Alateen and AA members. We abide by "Who you see here and what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here". We leave our titles and occupations outside the meeting room door because we come together as equals to solve our common problem: the effects of another's alcoholism upon our lives.
Is this some kind of religious fellowship?
No. Al-Anon is a spiritual fellowship, not a religious one. Members of any faith, or none at all, are welcome and we make it a point to avoid discussions of specific religious beliefs. The Al-Anon program is based on the spiritual idea that we can depend on a Power greater than ourselves for help in solving our problems and achieving peace of mind. We are free to define that power in our own terms and in our own way.
What are the 12 Steps, 12 Traditions & 12 Concepts?
Where can I get more information?
In Calgary, you can speak to an Al-Anon member by calling our 24 hour phone line 266-5850 or attend a meeting, or check out the World Service Office web site at:al-anon.alateen.org.